Friday Potpourri: 14 February 2025

I amuse myself

Wishing all of you a happy Valentine’s Day. May your heart love and be loved.

Also - today is the Eagle’s parade in Philadelphia, celebrating that they made mincemeat of that MAGA-aligned team from somewhere in the Midwest. I actually know where they play, but one attendee at the Super Bowl does not.

And now, on to our main event: hair.

Yes, hair.

Earlier this week, the Convicted Felon pardoned Rod Blagojevich so that he can make him ambassador to Serbia¹. I actually couldn’t care less about that. BUT - Rod’s hair is something else entirely. It completely engaged me during the whole “sell a Senate seat” process.

But first, history and context.

For kicks²:

There’s a long history of Illinois governors going to jail:

• Otto Kerner (convicted 1973)

• Daniel Walker (pleaded guilty in 1987)

• George Ryan (convicted 2006)

• Rod Blagojevich (convicted 2011)

Fun fact: George and Rod’s prison terms overlapped, although George went to Terra Haute, IN and Rod went to Englewood, CO.

Rod (“Blago” as he likes to be called) tried to sell the Senate seat vacated by Barack Obama when he was elected President. Rod believed he was owed for “allowing” someone to be appointed. The infamous quote:

"I've got this thing, and it's f**king golden. I'm just not giving it up for f**king nothing."

He was impeached, removed from office, and finally tried. His first trial ended with a conviction on 1 count, and a hung jury on the other 23 counts. A few were dropped, and Rod was found guilty on 17 of the remaining 20 counts at his retrial.

The fun part is what he did after being ousted from office and before relocating to a prison cell. There was radio, film, TV, plays and he even wrote his autobiography. He was on Celebrity Apprentice. (Of course he was.)

The moxie of this guy — sometimes you just gotta go with the quotes:

"Everything he's saying's on the teleprompter. I'm blacker than Barack Obama. I shined shoes. I grew up in a five-room apartment. My father had a little laundromat in a black community not far from where he lived. I saw it all growing up."

I did not make that quote up.

But it was his hair that fascinated me. Rod had GREAT HAIR. Thick, wavy, just perfect. Here’s a sample:

Yes, that’s his mug shot. He looks either a little perplexed, or potentially high, but that hair!

As an aside, that’s not my favourite mugshot. That belongs to Tom Delay.

LOOK AT THAT SMILE!!!! I love when criminal politicians enjoy being arrested.

Anyway - Rod’s got great hair. Peter Vodovoz, “Mr. Barber of Chicago”, and Rod’s stylist back in the day, said that while he cut Rod’s hair, Rod did his own dye jobs. While Peter said it was a quick process, Bradley Tusk, Deputy Governor for part of Rod’s term, said it was an all-day affair. His hair was so incredible, that a company produced “BLAGO It's Bleep'n Golden!” shampoo and conditioner. Honest. Rod spills his hair care secrets here.

Thank you for indulging me a trip down memory lane.

I am fascinated by the criminals. Like William “Cash” Jefferson. Guilty of bribery, they found the money in pie crust boxes in his freezer³. Really. And Vito Fosella, my all time pick fave political criminal. I do Vito best as an oral presentation. His tearful speech on the floor of the House was truly Oscar-worthy. There are more: SO MANY MORE! I keep files on these people⁴.

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Back to Valentine’s Day. Every day, there is another assault as everything you and I hold dear. We are inundated with both disaster and distraction. Please take a break at some point today to remember love: the first time you held your child, when you looked at your beloved on the altar, when you were in a magical place and all was right with the world. Take that feeling and breathe it in, smile, and remember joy. We all need to find ways to decompress, even if just for a moment.

And then eat chocolate.

1. Rod actually IS Serbian - his parents emigrated here from Serbia in the 40’s, and he was born in Chicago in 1956.

2. Mine, not necessarily yours.

3. $90,000.

4. Yes, I also keep files on non-criminal politicians, along with legislation and a bunch of other things, including house plans dating back to the 1800’s because floorplans help define the values of a population. Hey! Everybody needs a hobby.