Friday Potpourri: 13 December 2024

I amuse myself

Both Luigi Mangione and the Orange Menace list the University of Pennsylvania on their resumes. I believe that Luigi actually earned both a Bachelor of Science and a Master’s from Penn. I have never seen a transcript, diploma or even an anecdote from someone who actually saw Corporal Bone Spurs on campus during the years in question, so I have my doubts about his matriculation and graduation. But between the two of them, I’m beginning to question the value of an Ivy League education.

Here’s a “truth¹” from the Convicted Felon.

Notice anything? Ever take either a geography course or a government/poli-sci course? He obviously has not.

1. Canada is not a state; it’s a country.

2. Trudeau is not a Governor; he’s the Prime Minister.

Makes me think of this:

While we’re at it, I don’t know if this is true, but I saw it and thought I’d share since it’s Friday, and I amuse myself:

Joe the Volunteer has been keeping track, but I don’t think much work is involved in the calculation:

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And then there’s Luigi. Now, I’ve been to Altoona (more than once) the people are very nice, and I can understand selecting McDonald’s for a quick bite there. But still…

According to the timeline, he was caught because a customer recognized him, alerted an employee, and the employee called the police². SO MANY THINGS ARE WRONG WITH THIS.

First, Luigi, OH LUIGI, why Altoona? People are NICE there — it’s more midwestern than say, Philly, Pittsburgh, or even a lot of the collar counties. That means they look at the other people. As a native New Yorker, I can tell you that we city folk make it a point to NOT look at other people, especially meeting their eyes. In my suburban neighborhood, unless people have kids, they generally will only use the drive-thru at McDonald’s. First because we have some place to be and need to eat while driving, and second because no one would want to actually be seen in a McDonald’s by anyone they know, unless they have a small child with them. I have a personal McDonald’s confession. It’s in the footnote³.

Point is, Ivy League grad - McDonald’s in Altoona was not a good choice. Altoona was not a good choice. But jeez, if you were in Altoona and hungry, you should have gotten your food and gone outside to eat in some alley.

And how is it that you still had the gun? Rumor has it that you made it on a 3-D printer, meaning you could have left it anywhere and made another one.

You obviously planned meticulously for the time leading up to the event, but didn’t properly plan for your escape. Lots of people were rooting for you, and people who generally sleuth to help the cops refused to help them. But you obviously didn’t think things through - the downfall of oh so many.

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In all honestly, things about Luigi’s case really bother me. For example, he left his backpack in NYC, but he was found in Altoona with a laptop. Did he have another backpack? Was someone holding onto it for him?

And then, there are the photographs. On the left is a photo of “the shooter” (you can find others that show the same lack of a unibrow), and on the right is a photo taken in Altoona. Nobody’s eyebrows grow that fast. You can go search around and find other photographs that show the same thing. I’m not saying he didn’t do it, I’m just saying there’s an eyebrow thing.

My big question:

How is it that minutes to hours after Luigi was caught, we knew he was valedictorian of his high school class, where he’s lived from Maryland to Pennsylvania to California to Hawaii, to whom he’s related, and tons of other stuff BUT it’s been months and months and we still know NOTHING about the kid who theoretically shot at Don the Con in Butler, PA except his name is Matthew Crooks, and he was from Bethel Park, PA???

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And finally, while likely no one else will find this amusing, I do. This article is from the NYT. An Archer Daniels Midland (ADM) wet mill is located in Decatur, IL. There’s a Primient mill three miles away. What do they make? Corn products, especially high fructose corn syrup (HFCS). How much? ADM makes about 25% of all the HFCS in the US. Right now, there’s a bumper crop of corn in Illinois, as well as Iowa, which grows even more corn than Illinois. What happens when there’s an oversupply? Prices go down. How much corn is there? This will give you an idea.

In the 2022/2023 crop marketing year, (Sept. 1- Aug. 31) the United States exported 42.1 million metric tons (1.6 billion bushels) of corn to 58 different countries.

Mexico (38.4 percent), China and Japan made up the top three U.S. corn export destinations. Source.

So why am I laughing? Because Worm Brain wants to ban HFCS from school lunches, sodas, and every place else it’s used⁴. Now, seriously, I believe this is a great idea, from both medical and taste perspectives.

But with Brazil producing more and more corn (at less expensive prices than we do) and the retaliatory tariffs that will come from every country the Orange Menace slaps them on, it looks SERIOUSLY BAD for the economics of the corn belt.

The corn belt is prime Rethuglican territory.

Yeah, I shouldn’t be amused by this. But I am. Not to the point of schadenfreude, just chuckling.

1. I have no idea what the proper name is for the fake tweets.

2. As it turns out, the caller is not eligible for the reward because he called 911 instead of the tip line.

3. I found cancer treatment to be rough. My husband would bring me, pick me up, and I’d sleep for a day or two afterwards. As I was getting better, I received “maintenance” cancer treatments and was able to drive myself. After these treatments, I had about 2 hours before the nausea and sleepiness took hold. Across the street from the hospital is a McDonald’s, and after maintenance treatments, I’d go through the drive-thru for a Filet O Fish. Something comforting about those steamed rolls, plus it was the only drive-thru between the hospital and home, and I needed to eat something/anything because the oncologist, and especially the oncology nurses (WHO ARE ALL ANGELS!) are always overly concerned about cancer patients eating everything they can. (We patients are rarely successful.) So I couldn’t eat a whole Filet O Fish, but I always ate some of the roll. That’s my McDonald’s confession.

4. As well as the SNAP (Food Stamps) program.