Do you want to work for RFK, Jr?

There's a test you take

I only wish I were making this up.

If you want to apply to work for HHS in some capacity, there is a test that you take¹. If you think they’ll ask about, oh, abilities, experience, desire to serve the public, you haven’t been paying attention to the lunacy that is Worm Brain.

I read about it here, and really wanted to get to the part about how clairvoyant I am, but I just couldn’t do it. I’ll show you how far I got, and explain why I stopped.

They start with a “pattern test” and here is the example:

There are 17 of them. SEVENTEEN. I personally hate pattern tests. But I soldiered through, committed as I was to discussing any clairvoyance I might have.

Then, there were the word associations. I like these tests, generally. I know a lot of words. Here are their first three words:

Notice that the third word is “smeke”. SMEKE. Since this is an obscure word, none of the associations are really correct, but I wasn’t taking this test to get a good score. And believe me, if you think “smeke” is the only insanely dubious word on the list, you’ll be sorely disappointed if you take the test.

Then, on to the personality part.

The goal is to rank which personality traits are most and least like you. And this list stopped me dead in my tracks because these things are not only “like me”, they in a lot of ways define me.

• Interested in people? I thrive on my interest in people. I love meeting people, listening to people, finding out about them, understanding what makes them tick².

• Always prepared? Do you know me³?

• Has a rich vocabulary? When I was a kid, two of my hobbies were reading dictionaries and reading Roget’s Thesaurus.

• Am relaxed most of the time? Okay, maybe this could be my number 2, but I strive to be relaxed.

• Am the life of the party? You know how you go to a party and there’s some idiot, holding court, telling stories, telling jokes, making sure everyone has a beverage (no matter whose party it is), introducing people to one another, helping the host/hostess, and on and on? Well kids, I am that idiot.

And so, I stopped. You get a login when you sign up, so I’m pretty sure I could go back - but even for a nonsense test for a job I don’t want, and wouldn’t take if it were offered, I just couldn’t deny the person I am.

If you want to try, the link is here. Let me know if you make it to the clairvoyant part.

1. Anyone can take it.

2. The joke amoungst my friends and family when I tell an anecdote about a conversation with a stranger is that I end with “I’m working on getting over my shyness”, and the reply is “you’ll get there”. We laugh heartily because talking to people is inculcated in my DNA.

3. If you don’t know me, I could be the poster child for the Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts shared “Be Prepared” motto.