Creative Car Parking

The most upbeat thing you'll read all day. I promise.

I had a number of conversations with friends and family on Wednesday. Everyone is distraught.

After too many words, I needed to get out of my house. I needed to decompress. So I got into my car because I KNEW the answer would come to me if I drove around. Put on upbeat tunes, opened the sunroof and the windows, and appreciated being outside in the sunshine and fresh air. The questions to which I needed responses: what do I say to help people in this dark time? What advice can I provide that will help them get through the mourning and ready for next steps?¹ From where will “the next steps” come?

Years ago, I went to a lecture for something that I never went back to after that first meeting, but they talked about “Creative Car Parking”, and I think that it’s something that can help all of us.

I’m going to give you the set-up that I heard, and yeah, it’s seriously dated.

It’s 2:45 and you’ve got to get to the bank by 3:00 when it closes, to deposit a check. You were delayed getting on the road, and it’s going to take you 10 minutes to get from where you are to the bank, and then parking can be a bear.

If you wallow in your fear, you’ll hit several traffic lights and won’t find a parking space. The bank will close before you get there.

However, if you KNOW that you WILL be on time and you WILL get a space, the traffic lights will go your way, and someone will be pulling out of the space immediately in front of the bank as you pull up.

The idea of “KNOWING” is not believing, and it’s not an intellectual “knowing”, such as two plus two equals four. Rather, it is a visceral knowledge of surety. Once “KNOWING” becomes all of you, and you “KNOW” without a moment of doubt, things will work out the way you need them to.

They also claimed you could use this same “KNOWING” to get the car radio to play the song you want to hear. (For you young ‘uns, there was a time when cars had only AM radio, and then AM/FM radio, and not until later were there cassette players. Google the terms with which you are unfamiliar.)

I was fascinated by the idea of “KNOWING” - and found that it actually worked for parking spaces, and songs on the car radio, and other things, too. Honest. It’s a hard concept to learn, but practice makes perfect.

What we all need to do is to KNOW that after the black abyss comes the sunshine. It won’t come quickly, nor without pain, but if we KNOW that we will overcome evil, then we will. The KNOWING will lead to hope, replacing despair. All we need is a plan, and there is one.

To learn how to “KNOW”, drive to the mall and be 100% certain that you’ll find a parking space right outside the store you want to patronize. It sounds silly, and you might need to modify the location, but if you practice, it works and that space will be waiting for you. Then “KNOW” bigger things: maybe you need a medical test, you can KNOW that “it” will be benign. The ultimate goal is to get to the point of KNOWING that the horror show is transient and will not last forever.

Granted, today is probably not the day to start practicing, because first we all need to right ourselves. Below are a few options. They may seem silly. But try one or two anyway - you don’t have anything to lose. And then, at the end, is truly uplifting news.

Practice Gratitude

1. When you wake up in the morning, before you get out of bed, take a few minutes to be grateful that you get to sleep indoors, in a bed, and that you have potable water, indoor plumbing, electricity and food to eat. Use gratitude to center yourself before facing the world.

2. Write a thank you note. Use pen and paper. Think of someone who did something nice for you and send them a brief thank you note. Who should you write to? A friend you maybe haven’t seen in a while and thank them for the love they brought into your life. To the neighbor who fed your cat/walked your dog, while you needed to be gone all day. To your hairdresser for making you look so nice. And then mail it! Yes, envelope and stamp and the US Mule.

Engage Strangers

1. Look at people. Really look at them. EVERY person you see has something worth complimenting. Pay a stranger a compliment and smile when you do it.

2. Hold the door for someone.

3. When you are on the phone, smile while you hold your conversation.

Find Ways to be Kind to Yourself

1. When I was younger, I would get very angry at myself for making a mistake. My dad would ask me if someone else had done that thing, how would I treat them? In all cases, I would be compassionate in ways I wouldn’t be to myself. And he would tell me to treat myself as well as I would treat someone else. Good advice, dad.

2. Forgive yourself: we all worked hard for the election, and we fell short. No, one more canvassing shift wouldn’t have made a difference. Ten more bucks in donations wouldn’t have turned the tide. Talking to one more relative wouldn’t have won the election. You did all you could. Vanquish guilt.

3. Do something that will make you feel better - as you know, for me it’s frosted Wegman’s brownies and a fork. Maybe it’s ice cream. Or wine. Or getting a massage. Or whatever makes YOU happy. Go get that, or do that, and ENJOY!

I hope you feel a little better now. Do what you can, and if you can’t yet, that’s okay. Try and get a little more breath every day.

We are in this together, and we will find ways to make things right.

I promise.

The REALLY Good News

I attended a national organizing meeting last night. There IS an organization with true leadership, there IS a plan. I am going to lay the groundwork for how WE can implement, and win. Please share this information widely. I will have a post later today with details on what I learned last night, and how we take the first steps forward. We have from now to Inauguration Day to get ready, and then we rise.

Like they taught us in kindergarten: hold hands and cross the street together.

We can do this. I KNOW we can!

1. For those of you who know me only through my writing, you do not know this about me. When I was three years old, I went to live with my grandparents. My grandfather was a rabbi, and he told me that “The only obligation a Jew has on the face of this earth is to leave the world a little better the day he dies, than how he found it the day he was borne.” He drilled this into my three-year-old mind. I have lived my entire life by that credo. I strive to make the world better, and I have learned that sometimes, just smiling at someone, a true, heartfelt smile, might be the only good thing that happens to that person that day. Other days, there are larger things I can accomplish. I want to help YOU get through this, whoever you are, and trust me, I have a very limited knowledge of who reads my stuff.